Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Black Man Shoots Two Over Watermelon

Everyone knows that black men love two things more than almost anything else in the world (except maybe marijuana and big butts), watermelon and fried chicken. "Oh, that's a racist generalization!" you may say. Well, as a native of dear old Atlanta, GA I have found concrete evidence that this is true.


The hot and humid Georgia weather has been known to drive men to commit outrageous crimes, but let it be known to never come between a black man and his watermelon. The AJC reports that a black male shot his six year old grandson to death over spilled watermelon (so much for not crying over spilled milk).

You can read the entire article here.

The moral of the story?
Remember to never mess with an O.G. when he is both hungry and thirsty.

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Monday, April 27, 2009

University Professor Murders Three

It happens all the time, you hear it on the news or read it in a newspaper - where ever. This time, however, the news has hit much closer to home, my own University. A marketing professor at UGA, George M. Zinkhan shot three people including his ex-wife.


I have read several other articles, but they all say the same thing - so I guess I'll give you the "inside scoop" on what is happening on campus.

Well, the atmosphere is not much different - the students carry on as usual. No classes have been cancelled and most of us have no time to think about it because finals are next week. A few of the professors mention it, but have little to say on the subject. From what I hear the professor had already told the class last week before the shootings "there would be no final or no class next week" indicating that it may have been premeditated, but those are all rumors I've been hearing.

Everyone says he was a normal professor - nothing to indicate he was planning murder or would even hurt anyone. Apparently he is smart enough to not use his credit cards or his ID. From everything I have heard he is a really intelligent guy - probably smart enough to think this crime through and have a "get away plan." He is pretty much what you would expect from an University business professor.

The only real change is people have been talking about seeing University police around with assoult rifles. Most of us were going downtown (Athens) to grab a few drinks while this guy was right around the corner. We recieved calls and text messages from UGA Alert, but most of us payed little attention. I guess we didn't realize exactly what had happened - or at least I didn't.

In the end, this was a terrible tragedy. Something I do not think anyone could have predicted or done anything to stop. He had a great resume and the University had no reason to suspect him - my condolences and the entire student body send their thoughts to the families of those affected.

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Sunday, April 26, 2009

Stay out of my business

Attention members of my family. If you know me, stop reading the contents of this site NOW! I created this site as a means of creative outlet for comical made-up and exaggerated stories in efforts to entertain myself and a few other select readers.

I didn't friend you on facebook or myspace - I don't go around telling everyone my business - and I like my privacy. Now thanks to you select individuals who constantly want to stay in my business I may be forced to take my site down for good.

So thanks for the trouble and now I know for sure that next time I will keep my site completely anonymous! So stop stalking me, family members, and stay out of my business! If I wanted you to know I would say "hey let me tell you a story..." but since I don't, STAY OUT OF MY BUSINESS!

Thank you for your compliance.

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